There's No I In Parent

The Christmas letters and updates have been arriving steadily at our home. This has me reflecting on the last year. This past year, Elliot transitioned from being a child to being a 'kid'. As he grows, the focus of the family changes and evolves to be a little less kid centric (as evidenced by the lack of posts, ahem). It has been a year of transition and growth for us all.

Feeding the Family
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Elliot has taken an interest lately in taking care of his stuffed animals. They are his extended family. He takes care to name them and specify if they are a brother, dad, mom or sister. Pictured here are Francis, Lily an George. He set them all up with a tasty breakfast, but they couldn't have waffles because they are allergic. I am struck by how much more aware kids these days are of dietary restrictions and how it makes its way into play.

Singing at Christmas
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

The last few weeks have been rather incredible. We had the pleasure of taking in Elliot's Christmas concert only a few days after arriving back from Mexico. He was so proud to have us there and perform away. He even instructed in advance what portions he wanted video taped (kids these days). So, here is a new version of Baa Baa Black Sheep for your enjoyment!

It was a bit of a shock coming back to our first major snow fall after 7 blissful days in Mexico. Derek and I got our first kid free vacation since we welcomed the little man into our family. A very dear friend got married and we took the opportunity to renew ourselves. It was nothing short of incredible. I have always been a big supporter of fostering a strong relationship and this solidified it even more. Elliot stayed at home with Grandma and had a great time. There are more photos on our photo site, just click on a photo.

Elliot has been getting more confident lately with making some choices all on his own. I try to go with it when there is no harm to it. Today started with a decision to wear two pairs of underwear and a necklace (I was roped into this one too) and then topped off with Elliot style breakfast. Toast with "surprise" coconut on top.

It is said that happiness follows those who spend their time and money on experiences rather then things. I have to say I agree this with this and enjoy the happiness that comes. Today was one of those days. A simple start with some home made, fresh from the oven, pumpkin muffins (of which Elliot ate 1/2 the batch on his own). A nice impromptu visit from friends, then heading out to the Nature Museum with my boys and topping it off with a yummy Sushi dinner. What made it all that much better was the fact that Elliot was riding a long behind me!

We bike for fun and for transportation. Derek tollerates/likes it and Elliot and I LOVE it. Yesterday, Elliot and I picked up a Trail a Bike. They are the kind that attach to the back of the adults bike (photo to follow at a later date). I have been waiting impaitently for 4.5 yrs for him to be tall enough to ride one. The day has come. He loved it and not only did he love it but he reminded me of why I wanted one so badly. I was able to chat with him the whole ride (much harder to do with him in the trailer) and hear all of his observations. For example, on the way home... "Mom look at the moon its beautiful. Hey look at that fire hydrant someone made a funny face on it. Mom, I am looking at the river for the fishes." We also raced Derek and won and the best part of all...I rested while HE peddled. I had no idea his legs were so strong.

One of the many reasons that keeps me on a bike rather then stuck in a car is slowing down and noticing and interacting with the world around you. Elliot demonstrated for me today how important it is to really see the world you are in and how much joy such a simple act can bring.

So, Happy Thanksgiving. May you enjoy all of the everyday experiences that make our lives a joy.

The Rock Museum
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

I recently celebrated my 35th birthday. On that day I got some very special presents. Elliot has been saving rocks as a birthday present for me. He started in the spring. Along the way he added a marble, a cone, petrified wood and some seeds. It means the world to me. This was all his own idea and he carefully planned and waited and added items. Today, we started to play with it and built a Museum (see photo). I am sure there will be many other exciting buildings in the future. This is a superb benefit of being a parent.

I also started my yoga teacher training this weekend and was reminded of why it is important to discuss these life changing events with your kids. As we were discussing it Elliot says to me: "I don't want you to be a yoga teacher, I want you to be my mom forever."

(Pause for effect :)

I gave him a big hug and we talked about how I will always be his mom no matter what I am doing. How can I not love this kid?

Well, it was bound to happen some time. This was just a little earlier then expected. This week Elliot advised us that he and Sarah (a friend from school) would be getting married. Apparently, she asked him to marry her and he said "yes, when we are taller." So, they have been plotting this week and have also decided that once they are married she will get fat (aka pregnant) and they will have a kid.

They grow up so fast! At least he is keeping us posted on the plans.

We had an unexpected trip to Edmonton this past week due to the death of my Aunt Heidi. It was full of memories and joys. My aunt was the last sibling left from my mom's family and was only 67 yrs old. She was a unique lady full of compassion and joy. I was thought of her during this trip and our many gatherings. As I grew up she was one of my primary aunties and was one of the parents watching as all the kids ran around and played like crazy. It was fun to be in her shoes and see these kids all growing up and playing like mad. Her service was beautiful and one of the most accurate, funny eulogies I have ever heard a pastor give. He clearly knew her very well. Rest in peace Aunty Heidi. We kept playing and singing just for you.

Elliot and Keaton save the world
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Elliot's has a new interest in Thomas and the Railway series stories (and subsequently merchandising). We have taken this opportunity to start his lessons about finances. Elliot wanted to buy some trains of his own. Since we have no interest in paying an arm and a leg for the trains, we told him he would have to pay for them. So, the piggy bank was raided, he had almost $50 in coins. Followed by a trip to the bank to open an account. Closely followed by a trip to buy his first train. He chose James. A nice red train that cost (cough, cough) $33.

He is now receiving a $5 per week allowance and has also purchased some Star Wars action figures. Now every trip out he looks for things that he can save up for. He went with Derek to the Science and Tech museum today and already is planning on what he will buy when he is 6. Nice to see him planning ahead! Next step...saving for college.

I would being lying if I said parenthood is the easiest thing I have ever done. It is a tough job. One of the toughest parts is when you feel helpless. Your child is sick and you have done all you can and they cry 'fix it mommy'. Oh how you wish you could. This week I had to watch as Elliot had a 'peak' day with some stuttering and for the first time got frustrated with it. It was heart breaking when he got tired of trying and said deflated that he just couldn't say it. Elliot has had a repetition stutter for some time that has not bothered him or us to this point. We have him going through the process for a speech assessment (which takes a while), but have been patient as it has not been much of a concern. He has periods of time where his stuttering takes a sharp increase that is usually short lived (thankfully) and normally followed by a developmental change for him. This was the first time that he noticed it and asked me what it is called when you say "e-e-eat"? "It is called stuttering." "What causes it?" "Sometimes your brain moves faster then your mouth." It was hard watching him get frustrated, but I was so relieved that it only lasted a short while. He is such a verbose kid (which is one of the 'risk factors' for stuttering) that it is difficult to watch him struggle with something that he enjoys so much. I was really heartened this week when one of his care providers at summer camp made a point of telling me how gracious Elliot is. "He always says excuse me to get our attention and please and thank you. He is the best of any of the kids here." It is great to have such an awesome kid. I guess I will have to get used to not always being able to fix things, but I can do my best to support him when it is tough.

The Family
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Since moving to a new province a couple of years ago (hard to believe already) we decided we wanted to explore. This year we took a road trip to new territory. We got a visit in with my brother and his family, were amazed at Niagara Falls, spent an afternoon in Hamilton with some friends from Alberta, had a fun day at the Toronto Zoo (its huge!) and relaxed at a cottage in Westport. It was packed week but we all survived an are more aware of the vastness of this province.

Today I got asked THE question. "Mom, when am I going to get a brother or a sister?". Thankfully, he was content with a simple "We are not having any more kids" response. There are quite a few kids at school who are currently going from one to two (or more). I expected it was going to pop up soon. I have to admit, I had a moment of "awww" when he talked about how a brother or sister is like a friend who does not leave after they visit, but I also thought, yeah that's the problem (he he - I come from a family of 6).

Looks like I get to save the over population, only take on what you can handle speech for another day :)

Proud Canadian
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

This is the third year that we have Celebrated Canada Day in Ottawa. Being from out west the novelty has still not worn off. There is nothing quite like the show of Canadian pride that happens in this town. We even got a visit from the Queen herself his year. It certainly has an effect on Elliot. He talks about being a proud Canadian and how great Canada is. I can't agree more.





Some of my favorites lately out of the mouth of Elliot:

"Imagine if we are not real and a robot is watching us on TV and saying to his mom and dad 'it's ok because they are not really real'". Pretty abstract concept. What a kid.

After falling and scratching himself and confirming with me that he was bleeding he says through his tears "It's ok my platelets will help." Proof that he pays attention to his library books!

Rodin's Garden and House
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

I had the pleasure of being able to take a complete break from life recently. I took off to Paris without husband or child. It was incredible. Every parent should take breaks like this.

It is often said that parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do. It is challenging and rewarding on all levels: physically, emotionally, spiritually. Since we take a holidays from our 'easy' jobs, why not the hardest job of all?

This is another deeply divided camp. Some people wondered how I got Derek to "let" me go and others could not understand why I would like a break from the family. Thankfully, there were also those who understood completely (always good not to be alone in the world). It was rejuvenating, spirit lifting and incredibly relaxing. I will definitely be having more of these in the future.

It was really neat to come back and see how much my son grew in two short weeks. He also gained an incredible amount of confidence with swimming. The lessons are paying off! When we go for our pre-class swim he is now like a little fish, swimming around (with life jacket). It is so wonderful to see him so confident and having so much fun. He is at one of the funnest ages of all and I am enjoying it immensely.

One Man Band
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Elliot continues to be full of spunk. Today, he decided that he wanted to be a one man band. He saw it on Mary Poppins and wanted to give it a try. So, we had to figure out how to attach his drum to his back (note the shoe string contraption we came up with) and then he hauled out the horn, guitar and maraca. He sang away and had a great time. He is also more interested in numbers and letters. He likes to open up a word processor and typing. Incredible to watch his joy at such a simple task. Today he was overjoyed when he typed 1526 (our address). He is also gaining more confidence with swimming and was like a new kid at the pool today. This has been a huge change as he is quite cautious, it seems the swimming lessons are working! It was so nice to swim along side him rather then have him hanging on to me for dear life.

There are a few moments for me that define different transitions in motherhood. Moments that really hit home and make me say "Wow, I am a mom". They are all simple, and may be inconsequential to others but mean a world to me. These transitions happen to people every day and often go unnoticed. I am going to honour them today and share.

Elliot started his first UN PARENTED swimming lessons in May. (YEAH) There I sat in the bleachers watching proudly as he enthusiastically answered every question, did every activity and encouraged the not so sure kids that it could be fun. Then he turns, scans the crowd and seeing me beams the most beautiful smile and waves. Wow, I am a mom.

I am in the house getting a few things together, Elliot is outside playing in the back yard with the neighbours. He pops up to the back door and hands me some dandelions he picked. "Mom here are some flowers for you, I want you to put them in a vase". Wow, I am a mom. (I remember doing this for my mom and being so proud.)

Mothers Day approaches. Elliot brings home a flower he made at school. Made from tracings of his own two hands. Beautiful. Wow, I am a mom. How lucky am I?

I find myself constantly confused at how my son can be completely illogical and yet totally logical all at the same time! Tonight he was in a charming mood and had a whole host of funny little things to say. Here were a couple of my favorites...

We pass the fire hall on the way home and count the trucks, one was missing.
"Mom do you think that he is at our house?"
"No" "Why not?"
"Dad would have called me if there was a fire at our house."
"BUT MOM, your not a fire fighter!"


At the park a little girl crawls on the monkey bars. Elliot looks on skeptically, He is not a fan of heights.

"You do realize that it is a long way to the ground?"

Elliot's new bike
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Elliot has been zipping around on his Skuut bike for some time now and is quite confident and capable. He can even cruise down reasonably sized hills (the first time he shot down the one by our house gave me a small heart attack). So, we figured now that he has the balance figured out it is time to move on to pedals. Thus the search began.

One of the beauties of walking around your neighbourhood is that you notice things you would not otherwise. Like the fine gentleman who lives en route to the library that refurbishes bikes and sells them (for the last 20 years). Being a fan of reuse and recycling this attracted our attention. Last weekend Elliot and I chatted with him for a while and agreed to come back this weekend to get a bike that was just right for Elliot.

When we arrived yesterday, there on his lawn was a bike just for Elliot, in his favorite colour no less. All of this great service for $20! We can even trade in every year for a new bike as he grows. I love discovering gems like this - they seem to keep coming and make me so pleased about this neighbourhood.

We have already been out a couple of times to practice and I have a feeling it won't take him long before he is cruising around the neighbourhood. I will keep you posted.

Happy 4th Birthday!
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Elliot turned 4 at the end of February and I have finally gotten around to putting a couple of pictures up. We held his first party with more then mom, dad and some family. He was totally excited and had a fun time playing with all of his friends. I learned that 2 hours and less then 6 kids is perfect. Having a birthday a February birthday limits the options but, I can see swim parties in the future.






One of the things I have been noticing is that ritual is increasingly important. For example, he will get extremely upset if you do not give hugs, kisses and bisous d'eskimo before departing. It is fascinating how the rituals evolve as his focus changes. When he was smaller the hugs and kisses were enough. Then he added a long list of things that I should be careful for on the way to work (watch out for trees, car, etc). Then he added closing the door and opening it again for one last hug. Most of that has been dropped now and after the hugs, kisses and bisous there is an exchange of "see you later alligator" - sometimes spoken, sometimes sung, often both. Sometimes he plays with the speed of the bisous - VERY slow or VERY fast. It is very organic in how it evolves and I love seeing how he gradually changes it over time. I love my bisous d'eskimo.

It goes something like this..."Today you are Darth Vader and I am Bobba Fett and Dad is Obi Wan". Continue like that with stories of our great adventures for pretty much the whole day. Repeat.

Needless to say Elliot is just a little obsessed with being the characters in Star Wars. IT is cute and his imagination is endless. But, after the 1000 time (without a breath in between I might add) it can be a little exhausting.

Thankfully, tonight I was Darth Vader - so I can use my Jedi strength to outlast his mind control techniques!

Skating on the Canal
Originally uploaded by Derek And Angela.

Elliot is firmly moving into being a confident and capable kid. We took him for a skate on the Canal this weekend and did he ever enjoy it! It was his second time on his 'Hockey' skates. He likes going fast (surprise, surprise) and spinning around. He did pretty well on his own too. After all, if you are going to live in Ottawa - one needs to love skating!

We have been having so much fun over the last month and a half that I have neglected my fans! All three of you.

Christmas was a nice relaxing treat. We were able to be home for Christmas and the went to Oakville/Toronto for a visit with my brother and Derek's dad. We even hit a children's museum in Kitchener to meet with a friend that we met in Paris 4 years ago.




Elliot and his cousin Jacqueline


At the Children's museum with Cameron

Elliot has been trying out new adventures and changing right before our eyes. Today he went for his first skate on his newly acquired hockey skates. He did quite well and despite falling about a million times he was in good humour the entire time!

He has also developed a passion for Star Wars and likes to dress up like the characters. Being Derek's son I guess we could not expect any less.


Being "Dark Vader"